Stream of Consciousness Posts

I think I’m going to start doing ‘stream of consciousness’ posts.  I’ve done one already that I’ll post.  One, it helps me have a peace of mind.  I need to dump thoughts out.  Normally though, I do this in my journal.  Most mornings when I wake up, I  go to the bathroom (tmi?), I grab my journal, get me something to drink, go outside (depending on the weather), and write.  If I don’t do this, get all my thoughts out, I believe my brain would explode.  Two, it might help people see how anxiety  affects me (and possibly others).  And why I meditate.  Anxiety is something I live with.  I don’t know if it will ever completely go away.  I can learn to control it and not let it take over my life, but it’s with me.  I can accept it or I can fight it.  And fighting gets exhausting.  I’ve read and experienced, when it comes to emotions, the more you push something away, the harder it pushes back.  So if I try to pretend I don’t have anxiety, I don’t have all these thoughts, it will get louder and louder and louder in my mind until I acknowledge them.  Anyway, I’m going to tell you now haha, forewarning, I do talk to myself in my mind.  I ask and answer questions. So don’t be surprised.  I’m a little excited, a little nervous.


-Sonja Jackson, OpenHeartTin

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