Conflicted Feelings

If you didn’t leave
so cold-hearted like you did,
I wouldn’t be here writing,
spilling my heart out about it.
No, I would never wanna
go through it again,
But you leaving made me
have to pause, go within.
I had a lot of growing up to do,
that’s clear, now I see,
But what you did ripped me apart,
it really hurt me.
So much I don’t know if I could see you again,
You made me not want anything to do with men.
I honestly don’t know where the future will go,
I try to stay positive, but it’s hard you know —
When you had,
at one time,
what you always wanted,
And then it was gone,
Now you’re left here with nothing.
I’m learning to move on,
live here without you,
And that makes me happy,
But somewhat sad too.
Because at one point in time,
you were my life,
I thought I’d eventually, someday,
be your wife.
And now we don’t talk,
it’s weird how life goes,
You’re still on my mind,
I’m afraid to say so.
I don’t know what’s going on,
I’m ready to start new,
I hate you for what you did,
but I’m missing you too.

-Sonja Jackson, OpenHeartTin

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