How have I learned to face fear? Awareness, courage, God/faith, and self-love. Awareness to know you have fear and it’s holding you back from being the best you can be and living the life you want, Courage to face it, God to walk with, and Self-love to get through it.
There’s a quote by Elizabeth Gilbert I discovered on the internet when I began my healing journey and it goes, “I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.” It couldn’t be any more true. Every time I’ve faced a huge fear it was because I reached my limit of being miserable. I hit my breaking point. I could either continue going down this road of being unhappy or I could face my fear.
It took six years before I finally let go of chasing my ex. We separated after four years, but I still kept in contact (hoping he’d change his mind) for another two years, so I didn’t completely let go. I wanted commitment and he didn’t. I was afraid of abandonment. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of not knowing what was going to happen in the future. I was afraid of dying. I was full of fear, but I reached a point where I was tired of repeating the same story over and over again. We’d break up, get back together, break up, get back together. I was tired of it.
When it comes to facing fear, you have to take it day by day. Some days are rough, some days are wonderful. I learned to meditate and talk to God, so my thoughts and emotions didn’t completely take over. Same with quitting my job. I was tired of the same story over and over again. I’d quit and then go back and then quit and then go back. It becomes almost easier to face your fear than it is to live the life you’re living.
At the moment, my fear of not knowing, of uncertainty, and possibly dying is in full force. This job thing is not happening as fast as I’d like and I’m beginning to panic. I know it sounds irrational, but fear plays tricks on you like that. So what I do is acknowledge it. I acknowledge my anxiety. My mind is racing and my heart is beating faster. I’m getting anxious because I feel I’m going to die if I don’t know what’s going to happen (negative thought/belief). The more you ignore anxiety, the louder it gets. The more you ignore any emotion the louder it gets. So you go within, meditate and say to yourself, I’m aware, I see you, it’s going to be okay (positive thought/belief). You acknowledge your negative thoughts, but replace them with positive/loving thoughts. That’s the self-love you have to give yourself. Slowly, but surely, that fear lessens and lessens. Love heals.
If you’re going through a difficult time or fear is holding you back, I offer Spiritual Mentoring/Advice (via E-Mail). Fear is not a bad thing. It protects you. But when it prevents you from having healthy relationships and living your best life then it’s no longer beneficial. It is possible to heal.
-Sonja Jackson, OpenHeartTin